The array of light..

The sun rays felt like heavenly sent angels to rescue us from the shivering temperatures. It was cold, but we were just starting to talk, We were talking philosophy and slowly shifted to psychology, then i was 16, nd hardly knew the difference, I was sitting with ppl who were atleast a decade older to me, sipping some kind of steaming hot green tea, nd warming my freeze dried hands in the comfortable heat of the wood pyre. We were in this open space amidst a hoard of trees at 4 in the morning, People were talkin life, struggles, expectations, disappointments, giving apt examples, wherever required, I was listening, understanding, thinking, dozing, but soon i formed a synopsis, a general face of life, experience had put forth, I started writin it down ..... in the summer of 2004.. I was travelling to Nainital , taking a roadtrip with cousins... ya from Mumbai,, nd I wasn't allowed to drive then.... This I penned down at Gwaldham, a very quiet 500 ppl village, 5500 ft height nd closest to the three peaks of himalayas from Uttranchal... Since then, i have been turning back to this for inspiration, or rather confidence to take on the world... This is where I started livin king size... I took control of everything in my life... I started ruling.....

" I would assume my life to be normal, till i accepted it to be supernatural.. Every kid, every one of u as a kid must have dreamt of having an 'out of the ordianary', 'the changing history' type life, at some point in ur life. Definitively, there would have been fleeting glances of priceless moments, when the sense of being very close to satiating that dream must have struck u boldly in the head. But, like me, like all of us , you would have let that moment pass, with the 'if only' expression on your face.. Holding on to something is very difficult, and requires tremendous courage...

To accept the glitch, the mistake is modesty and humility, to rectify it is intelligence... The fault lies in the head, in the cloudy thinking, more than any thing else.. I have blamed my parents, friends, teachers, all the zillion gods in india , for everything wrong that has happened to me, as well as all those things which never happened to me.... (like pamela anderson.. blah.. blah... )..

This is the biggest paradox,, or irony,, (which one, i still cant figure out,) that has influenced all of us so much, that it is going to dole out the next decade...in a predictable, and a restricted way.. The baby bloomer generations have restricted all windows of thought, imagination and ambition.. We have shut and locked the doors to accept good so tightly, nothing xcept a radical renaissance of thought is going to change it...

We need to frame our own future.. You need to be able to see the future today, to make it tomorrow. The future is nothing but a practical, live theatrical presentation 0f your thoughts of today... Consciously, subconsciously, or for that matter unconsciously, ur mind frames thoughts, which the universe brings back to you as live theatre in ur life.. so if u can tame ur thoughts, u can very well create,mould and frame the future...... and be ready to accept it,, when it comes ur way,,, "

Rearview..

The weirdness of creating an article, is related to the plethora of discovering the thought and the purpose behind it. Until recently, I had given up on thinking about purposes, or putting in thoughts behind the purpose. Now I realize, knowledge is essential, information is critical, wits are the crux, but embracing all success is the ability to generate powerful thoughts. Thoughts were many, interesting, powerful, some made it to being ideas, some died down.

Few days back, while driving home, I was thinking about the distractions I had faced, my shift in focus, all of which shaped me to something I wasn't. My focus perennially had been on the day at hand, on the moment that I lived. I would cherish every thought, would protect every dream, believe in my ideas, however small, irrelevant or inconsequential they may be. As a 15 year old teenager, every morning I had certain fantasies, dreams to be fulfilled, widespread, from playing football, meeting a friend, to pulling a 'rock bottom' on a friend.. ya ya , even i was a fan of 'the rock'..I would always watch the first step of the ladder and try to climb that.. I always walked one step at a time, and guess what, I was satisfied.. that satisfaction came out of the sense of genuine achievement. But, then I didn't know the world, I defined my world, I didn't know what 'to run' was, I was happy to only walk.

Then I saw 'the world', saw it from the deepest, darkest hole, saw it to be a cunning, unwavering, sea of hardships. The transition, the bridge, was too short. My pupils were still dilated when I moved from the sunshine of my world to the darkness of the world's 'world'. I fought, and I fought well. Adaptation still remains the quintessential trait for survival. I adapted, I survived. Survival was not enough, thriving, growing exponentially was the key. I thrived. I adapted on my own conditions, I wrote the rulz..... I created my tomorrow..

Now, as I write this, lying down in my small little room, I feel the sense of achievement, sense of accomplishment.. The journey has been long, nearly four years, and their have been turns and moments, incidents and accidents, poems and proses, people and places. All of them deserve a place here, and this summer of 08, in Mumbai, I ll pen down those 'golden moments' as I go over them in my head and smile...